There are things not letting me sleep
Ideas, thoughts and wishes
left back in time when a scattered field
was dreaming to kiss the spring.
There are people I can`t abandon
Ones who loved me or at least tried to play this role
I`ve never forced it: contact, touch, emotion
still I wear their marks
There are conversations I`m not ready to start
because their task is to break my hope
and poison the innocence of my faith
raised from foolishness of naive dreams
There is sorry I don`t want to hear because
when I left without it I was not escaping, just leaving
So do not shed your shadows on me now
It`s late for redemption your selfishness needs
There are places I wish to be
Some are locked with memories and
heavy air of certainty
While others are rare expectations
and pure revelation to be
hidden in embraces I`m planning to give
There are poems I want to write
About the craziness of your heart,
my light brain damage
and complete blindness
caused by soft kisses that
could be wiped out in the slightest breeze.
There are mistakes I would love to repeat
Just because they are mine.
Chaos. Wrong. Mess. Danger.
All of these are me.
Some mistakes are pretty beautiful
If you let yourself see.
But…
there are shoes I would never again walk in
drinks I wouldn`t taste or sip
and lips I wouldn`t ever kiss
There are words I will never say again,
Eyes I know I`ll never forget
and smiles I`m smart not to buy
There are beaches I would live in
Jokes I still haven`t get and
calls I would rather never end
There were signs so clear
and hopes so strong
Onward treats and
Plesantness they brought
There is a girl. Hopeaholic.
Maybe you met her.
Or maybe you will.