When life gives you a lemon, make a lemonade …
The longer I live, the more inner resistance I feel towards doing certain activities I dislike. For quite a while I have struggled with some unpleasant tasks I have to do daily. Regardless of generally liking the job or activity I do, there are always some aspects of it that I must push myself to accept. For instance, my work starts early and commuting from the suburban area I reside in, has represented a regular challenge to me for a long time. The less liked aspect of my working life has been leaving my comfy bed at 5.30 AM each morning while coming back home around 6 – 7 PM. Heading towards downtown in cold and foggy winter mornings with sleepy and often nervous children is everything but pleasurable.
As school and job working hours is something I cannot change, at least not at this moment, I had to train myself to see my internal struggle differently; despite knowing there are those rare people who manage to provide for their families by working flexible hours, or those who have no problems waking up at 5AM. Resistance never helps, and now I am working on making these less pleasurable aspect of my life, at least tolerable for me. Making the uncomfortable things – comfortable, is the way to become a happier and more successful person (words of famous British therapist Marisa Peer). Still, majority of us struggles with these less enjoyable daily routines, such as commuting on daily basis in weird times of the dawn.
Moving from surviving to striving
Here are simple some practices that I found beneficial in helping me adopt a different perspective on the things I dislike:
- Reframing
Reframing literally means placing a picture/situation into a new frame, and this technique is great for helping us see things differently. In my example it meant associating *waking up early* with *providing for my family*. Thus, at the exact moment of leaving warm bed at 5.30 AM, instead of complaining about my fate, I select thoughts of being blessed with having a job and opportunity to earn a living. Likewise, at these early moments of wakefulness, I reflect on the opportunity to serve and contribute to world through my work. After reframing sinks in, getting up at 5.30 AM has become much easier for me, as well as for my children. I deliberately avoid getting swallowed by a swirl of negative thoughts to begin with. Taking this purposeful action of reframing while being uncomfortable, and consciously redirecting my mind to more positive thoughts, has resulted in a huge change on how I start my day..
- Keeping the perspective
Keeping the perspective is another important aspect. Looking at larger picture, certainly helps us stay humble and keep the positive attitude. Knowing that so many people works the night shifts, made my 7:30:16:00 office work day seam easy. Remembering the unemployed, the underpaid and the sick, all that helps me maintain realistic perspective in terms of my working obligations. In my example with waking up early, it simply meant remembering that the baker I visit regularly, gets up at 2.00 AM each morning without much complaining.
- Being a deliberate creator/Assigning a meaning
One of great things I have learned over long years in self-development is that we give things a meaning/ we are the creators of meaning. Waking up early for work, may be assigned a positive meaning of contributing to society and being disciplined, for instance. An event is neutral if we decide so. Things mean nothing before we do not interpret them as positive and negative in our own minds. We select which meaning we will assign to a specific event. For instance, doing same repetitive action may be viewed as nice rest and preparation for more demanding activities for some people. Or, on the other hand, may be viewed as tedious boring actions for the other. Reframing so called “boring tasks” into opportunity to practice discipline, speed and attentiveness certainly helps.
- Gratitude practice
This is great practice for beating resistance to wake up early. Realistically, millions of people will not wake up this very same morning. Every day is a gift, and focusing on treasures instead of pitfalls, builds up our strength and eliminates fears and resistance from our lives. This very important practice is great for defusing any negativity and resistance. Therefore, instead of going down the spiral of negative thoughts in early morning (life is difficult, why I have to wake up so early each day?, etc.), turn to counting your blessings instead. Expressing gratefulness is a great strategy in becoming master of own fate, focus and emotions. As *What we focus on expands!*, we need to be super careful with our focus.
- There are other simple health tips such as: go to bed early, do not eat late heavy meals, do not drink coffee after 5 PM, etc., and they are more or less common sense…
Re-published from blog Cokoholic